Lady Antimony's December Blog Challenge
Day 5 - Treachery
Just want to state first that this was written according to the views portrayed by Dante's Inferno or the Divine Comedy. It by no means represents what I believe.
Day 5 - Treachery
Just want to state first that this was written according to the views portrayed by Dante's Inferno or the Divine Comedy. It by no means represents what I believe.
I allow myself to feel again for the first time in months. The pain still cuts deep. Time doesn’t blunt sorrow’s wicked knife. It takes all of my effort not to pull the trigger as tears well up.
I have Ms Sharma’s murderer on his knees next to Luke’s body, hands in the air. He’s staring down my pistol’s barrel, grinning, “Shoot me! We can go to hell together, partner.”
Not where you’re going you treacherous piece of shit, you’re going all the way down. “I trusted you! They did too!” I point at the dead cops, “And my wife...” Again I fight urges to murder him.
Don’t do this, she’s waiting for you. Don’t let her down.
“You are under arrest...” I start reading his rights. Cop killer and serial killer. He’ll have a taste of hell while he’s living.
Still, I wish he’d make a run for it.
I have Ms Sharma’s murderer on his knees next to Luke’s body, hands in the air. He’s staring down my pistol’s barrel, grinning, “Shoot me! We can go to hell together, partner.”
Not where you’re going you treacherous piece of shit, you’re going all the way down. “I trusted you! They did too!” I point at the dead cops, “And my wife...” Again I fight urges to murder him.
Don’t do this, she’s waiting for you. Don’t let her down.
“You are under arrest...” I start reading his rights. Cop killer and serial killer. He’ll have a taste of hell while he’s living.
Still, I wish he’d make a run for it.
---
That's it! Over and done. Done and dusted. Finish en kla! This was a surprisingly large amount of fun. And I've met a few bloggers in the process.
I'd like to give Ralph Rudd, a close friend of mine, the credit he deserves for always taking the time to read through my drafts and giving advice where it's needed. Also, he's the one who usually gets me to write flash fiction even though I put up a big fight. Appreciative cake and burgers will follow mate!
Aw shucks [blush]
ReplyDeleteGood on you for finishing mate! My favourite pieces of your writing so far
Nice end tot he tale Hugo. For 700 odd words it really was an epic tale, and I agree with Ralph, my favourite of yours so far too.
ReplyDeleteJust read through all your entries - it's an inspired take on the #DivineHell challenge. I love the strong, bitten off slightly screwed up cop voice that your narrator has and the light touch you've had with the daily themes. Brilliant!
ReplyDeleteSo awesome! Loved this one from start to finish, and it just picked up momentum as it went along.
ReplyDelete"Still, I wish he'd made a run for it." Such a powerful line, because in a way I wish he had too--but then we wouldn't have been able to see the protagonist as THE virtuous man among sinners.
So again, brilliant with "...you're going all the way down." because it succinctly and beautifully answers the audience question of why the murderer didn't get his comeuppance in Violence and ties everything together neatly.
Great job and glad you participated.